How to avoid an Intervention

1. Run
Run like the wind as soon as you get an inkling of your impending intervention. There is no shame in hiding out in your office or that cupboard under the stairs. The problem is that you can't run forever and the success of this solution depends on how fast you can run or the speed of your friends. Once caught, it is pointless to attempt an escape. You might as well suck it up and allow yourself to be led into it.

2. Avoidance and Denial
Deny everything till your very last breath. Refusing to accept something point blank ensures people stop caring enough to hold interventions for you. This method takes a lot of time and perseverance. Breaking down is not an option. You may try and avoid your friends for a little while until their enthusiasm subsides. It takes practice and general heartlessness to keep up the stream of denials. Locking yourself in your room also works.

3. Agree with everything
The scope of an animated discussion/verbal fight or otherwise, promptly diminishes if you agree with everything the interventioners have to say. Ready agreement will cut them off before they get all worked up. A nip in the bud saves a whole day of headache.

4. Reverse Psychology
Tough Love can be very tough indeed. How much of it can you take? A great way of avoiding a concentrated dose is to throw everything back at the interventioners. Make it all about them instead of you. Or you could just pick on one person until you have successfully put him or her on the hot seat while you make your cool escape. Defensiveness is the biggest turn off and the best modus operandi. It hardly ever fails. Again, success depends on your underhandedness and the obstinacy of your friends.

5. Hide the food
Without food and beverages these things tend to run out of steam. It is difficult to make a point on an empty stomach. Deprive your well wishers of food and beverages and watch the magic. At best it will be a half-hour limp talk before everybody disperses to hunt for food. Its simple, no sustenance, no substance. It will be too easy to flip them off once you cut off the food supply.